Single Mom & Dating
Disclaimer: These are my personal thoughts and opinions. The statements below are geared toward my life not anyone else. Do NOT take my opinion as GOLDEN, cause you may end up single like me! lol
After a great weekend in Houston for my cousins wedding, I had a thought...Why is it that me and a LOT of my cousins do not have a man? I was watching and listening to my cousins and it is crazy to think that a LOT of my female cousins are single mothers or just single.
Some people say, just wait for God to bring that man in your life, some same don't look for it, it will come, etc. Which one is it? I know plenty of women that are just WAITING on God to bring them a man, and 20 years later, still no man. During that time of WAITING, you can to be doing something beside just WAITING. At least work on improving you while you wait, therefor your wait won't be a waste of time.
The other part that bothers me is that some of my cousins have been single mothers for almost 20yrs. Now I know their life and situation are different than mine, but lets be honest that is a little discouraging to know. As a single mom, our kids come FIRST! So dealing with a man that understands that, respects that, and embraces that is sometimes hard to find. While dating I have found men that say they don't have a problem dating a single mother, but also does not understands and get upset when I can not be spontaneous all the time. As a single mother there are a lot of things you have to work out, in order to go out. I wish men were a little more patiente and know that once mommy duty is over for the night, that I am all yours, whether that be for 30 minutes or 8 hours. Give a sister a break!
So I tried online dating....don't look at me with shock, close your mouth, yes I did it! It was an interesting experience. All I can say is, we are in a recession and it is affecting the online dating scene. For sites that are $$$, there seems to be a shortage of decent men in my area. My friend and I were matched with the same men, and we had to figure, which guy we each wanted or who was full of shit. Once my time had expired I did not renew, but I seem to get more matches now, than I did when I was paying??? One thing I did learn was that I am a HOT commodity on the East coast, not so much in the South. Maybe I should relocate??
Being a single mother and dating can be hard, but I do know there is hope and ONE day I will meet MY MR. RIGHT. Until then I will just work on BEING MS. RIGHT.
Now that I got the positive stuff out the way... really, where are all the MEN?
After a great weekend in Houston for my cousins wedding, I had a thought...Why is it that me and a LOT of my cousins do not have a man? I was watching and listening to my cousins and it is crazy to think that a LOT of my female cousins are single mothers or just single.
Some people say, just wait for God to bring that man in your life, some same don't look for it, it will come, etc. Which one is it? I know plenty of women that are just WAITING on God to bring them a man, and 20 years later, still no man. During that time of WAITING, you can to be doing something beside just WAITING. At least work on improving you while you wait, therefor your wait won't be a waste of time.
The other part that bothers me is that some of my cousins have been single mothers for almost 20yrs. Now I know their life and situation are different than mine, but lets be honest that is a little discouraging to know. As a single mom, our kids come FIRST! So dealing with a man that understands that, respects that, and embraces that is sometimes hard to find. While dating I have found men that say they don't have a problem dating a single mother, but also does not understands and get upset when I can not be spontaneous all the time. As a single mother there are a lot of things you have to work out, in order to go out. I wish men were a little more patiente and know that once mommy duty is over for the night, that I am all yours, whether that be for 30 minutes or 8 hours. Give a sister a break!
So I tried online dating....don't look at me with shock, close your mouth, yes I did it! It was an interesting experience. All I can say is, we are in a recession and it is affecting the online dating scene. For sites that are $$$, there seems to be a shortage of decent men in my area. My friend and I were matched with the same men, and we had to figure, which guy we each wanted or who was full of shit. Once my time had expired I did not renew, but I seem to get more matches now, than I did when I was paying??? One thing I did learn was that I am a HOT commodity on the East coast, not so much in the South. Maybe I should relocate??
Being a single mother and dating can be hard, but I do know there is hope and ONE day I will meet MY MR. RIGHT. Until then I will just work on BEING MS. RIGHT.
Now that I got the positive stuff out the way... really, where are all the MEN?
Ok, first off let me say that I'm not a single mother but am a product of one and I've seen my mom handle things w/no help and still is successful and will be retiring soon and hate to say it but she doesn't have a man either. But she's had boyfriends in the past and it seems as if she was more successful than they were and more forward thinking. I think that dating PERIOD is hard whether you're a single mom or not, believe me, I've had many trials and trysts and maybe could write a book about it! LOL But on the serious tip, as far as waiting/praying for "The One" and all of that, everyone's journey is different. I mean it may seem like all of the sanctified women are always the last ones to have a man and then all the tramps have guys falling at their feet, but that's just from the outside looking in. You also have to take in mind what type of quality of men they are. I know a while back, my friend told me in order for us to have someone, we might as women need not to be so picky, so you might have to compromise on something and we might not get "everything" we want but we'll get everything we "need". So your "Knight in Shining Armor" just might be a little shorter than your liking, or not the body type you prefer, but if he treats you like a queen, then I don't see the problem. I think as women, we always fantasize about some stud muffin coming in on their nice shiny horse and wisk us away to this castle and we live happily ever after and most times that's not the case. Now don't get me wrong, there ARE some hot @ss mess men out there, but also there are some out there that are respectable and actually have some act right. Where you might ask...honey chile...who knows! Maybe they are where we least expect. And as far as the online dating scene goes, I think its a great alternative way of meeting people. Don't think there's nothing wrong w/it. It can't be any worse than meeting some poser at the club and then later on is full of drama! LOL
ReplyDelete