Men
The other day I was talking to one of my best friends about the men I have been running into, and trying to figure out what my problem is or if they are just all lazy!
The men I have been dealing with, are all different in many ways and on surface, but they all have one thing in common which is they are all lazy. Not lazy that they don't clean or cook, but lazy to the fact that they don't do any work. I am the type of person that if I am interested I will make a effort, and I have no problem with taking the lead sometimes, but not too much where I become the "man". It's like I meet these men who say they like the chase, but after awhile I ask myself when does the chase begin? They never make arrangements to go out, but if I make them they are game. They don't call, but when they do finally talk to me, they are like "where have you been?" Don't act like you missed me, because if you did you would have called. Writing this, makes it sound like they were not interested, but in fact that is not true.
My friend said that because I am more serious it works for and against me. Good: because it saves me time from dealing with bull shit; Bad: because it may scare them off and they never really get to know me. It's funny, the one man that would be a good husband and provider wants me, BUT we are on different pages. He wants a child before he is 40 (4 more years), and I don't want anymore; he is more of a home body and I feel like I have to force him to interact with my friends and family or to go out; and I feel he doesn't take care of himself like he should (weight, diet, etc). Other than that, he would provide the WORLD for me and my son, if I needed something, he would try and make it happen.
So back to square 1...single and on the market. Now I don't want to get married tomorrow, but I don't want to be single all my life either. Since school started I have been concentrating on my son and school, which is always a good thing. My thought is that maybe once I get to where I want to be, that man may come along. I am not open to men outside my race right now, because I still have hope that a black man will be head of my house hold, but at this rate, I might have to give up on Black men.
I need dating help and advice!!
The men I have been dealing with, are all different in many ways and on surface, but they all have one thing in common which is they are all lazy. Not lazy that they don't clean or cook, but lazy to the fact that they don't do any work. I am the type of person that if I am interested I will make a effort, and I have no problem with taking the lead sometimes, but not too much where I become the "man". It's like I meet these men who say they like the chase, but after awhile I ask myself when does the chase begin? They never make arrangements to go out, but if I make them they are game. They don't call, but when they do finally talk to me, they are like "where have you been?" Don't act like you missed me, because if you did you would have called. Writing this, makes it sound like they were not interested, but in fact that is not true.
My friend said that because I am more serious it works for and against me. Good: because it saves me time from dealing with bull shit; Bad: because it may scare them off and they never really get to know me. It's funny, the one man that would be a good husband and provider wants me, BUT we are on different pages. He wants a child before he is 40 (4 more years), and I don't want anymore; he is more of a home body and I feel like I have to force him to interact with my friends and family or to go out; and I feel he doesn't take care of himself like he should (weight, diet, etc). Other than that, he would provide the WORLD for me and my son, if I needed something, he would try and make it happen.
So back to square 1...single and on the market. Now I don't want to get married tomorrow, but I don't want to be single all my life either. Since school started I have been concentrating on my son and school, which is always a good thing. My thought is that maybe once I get to where I want to be, that man may come along. I am not open to men outside my race right now, because I still have hope that a black man will be head of my house hold, but at this rate, I might have to give up on Black men.
I need dating help and advice!!
Interesting...I just feel as if you're focusing on your family and your schooling then everything else will fall into place. The guy for you may not come right now, but soon. I don't really see how the one guy could be a good husband to you if you're on two different pages...if you're not willing to compromise your standards of not having anymore kids, or going out, or dealing w/his sluggish ways, then apparently that's not the guy for you. And its best that you found out early in the game. I don't think you should give up on black men all together...think they're are some good ones out there, but there's nothing wrong w/keeping your options open. I say keep living your life like its Golden, at the end of the day, that's all you can do.
ReplyDeleteI was saying that he would be a good husband in general, just not for me. If I wanted more kids, etc, then he would be it.
ReplyDelete