Keep Your Natural Alive
STOP fighting with your hair! It's natural, it's you, and that is what God gave you....so just embrace it and work with it, not against it.
Once you have completed the transition, the FUN has just begun! There is so much you learn about your hair, and its natural state. I hear women (I did this at one time as well) trying to make their hair look like someone else hair or achieve an "acceptable" natural look. What does "acceptable" mean? Does it mean long curls, that are soft and bouncy, "good" hair? So is it not acceptable to have short, loc, kinky, nappy hair, or hair that does not move when I turn my head? The sad part is that some people think that it's not possible to look beautiful when you have "unacceptable" hair.
A few weeks ago I twisted my mothers hair and I personally thought it was cute, not because I did it, but because it was really cute on her, and I was glad that she was stepping outside of her box. She felt uncomfortable with the look. So after an hour worth of work, she took it down the next morning, because she did not feel that it was "acceptable" to go her "corporate" job, looking like that. What the hell is "like that"? She still struggles sometimes with accepting her hair for what it is. She wants to achieve all these cute, short curl, texturized looks, and I have to constantly remind her, that not what your hair is. She kept thinking about going back to a relaxer, but not on my watch. So getting her in the habit of working with what she has, has been a little challenging, but she is getting better.
This second time around being natural, I struggled at first. I wanted to have the long bouncy curls that my friends had, and I was trying every product I found on YouTube to make it happen. After an expensive experiment, I found out that my hair just does not do that. So I started paying more attention to what my hair was telling me and following its direction, and it has paid off. When I stop FIGHTING with what God blessed me with, I learned to appreciate my hair more. Then I also realize the things that I can do with "bad" hair, people with "good " can not do!!!
There are several things that you can do to make this journey in life pleasant. Here are a few things that you should keep in mind if you are already natural.
1. Water is your best friend, so when styling, refreshing your style, detangling, use it. Never detangle or comb through while you hair is dry hair!
2. Co-washes work great. Co-wash/conditioner wash means washing your hair with conditioner instead of shampoo. It's great for keeping you hair moisturize.
3. Never towel dry your hair, use your hand to ring out the excess water or place a t-shirt over your hair to soak up the water.
4. I recommend NOT using heat at all. If you are just dying to use heat, limit the use to once over two months. HEAT ruins your curl pattern, and had a possibility of damaging our curls.
5. When detangling, always brush (Denman Brush) or comb from the tips up. So start detangling your tips first then, work your way up.
Once you have completed the transition, the FUN has just begun! There is so much you learn about your hair, and its natural state. I hear women (I did this at one time as well) trying to make their hair look like someone else hair or achieve an "acceptable" natural look. What does "acceptable" mean? Does it mean long curls, that are soft and bouncy, "good" hair? So is it not acceptable to have short, loc, kinky, nappy hair, or hair that does not move when I turn my head? The sad part is that some people think that it's not possible to look beautiful when you have "unacceptable" hair.
A few weeks ago I twisted my mothers hair and I personally thought it was cute, not because I did it, but because it was really cute on her, and I was glad that she was stepping outside of her box. She felt uncomfortable with the look. So after an hour worth of work, she took it down the next morning, because she did not feel that it was "acceptable" to go her "corporate" job, looking like that. What the hell is "like that"? She still struggles sometimes with accepting her hair for what it is. She wants to achieve all these cute, short curl, texturized looks, and I have to constantly remind her, that not what your hair is. She kept thinking about going back to a relaxer, but not on my watch. So getting her in the habit of working with what she has, has been a little challenging, but she is getting better.
This second time around being natural, I struggled at first. I wanted to have the long bouncy curls that my friends had, and I was trying every product I found on YouTube to make it happen. After an expensive experiment, I found out that my hair just does not do that. So I started paying more attention to what my hair was telling me and following its direction, and it has paid off. When I stop FIGHTING with what God blessed me with, I learned to appreciate my hair more. Then I also realize the things that I can do with "bad" hair, people with "good " can not do!!!
There are several things that you can do to make this journey in life pleasant. Here are a few things that you should keep in mind if you are already natural.
1. Water is your best friend, so when styling, refreshing your style, detangling, use it. Never detangle or comb through while you hair is dry hair!
2. Co-washes work great. Co-wash/conditioner wash means washing your hair with conditioner instead of shampoo. It's great for keeping you hair moisturize.
3. Never towel dry your hair, use your hand to ring out the excess water or place a t-shirt over your hair to soak up the water.
4. I recommend NOT using heat at all. If you are just dying to use heat, limit the use to once over two months. HEAT ruins your curl pattern, and had a possibility of damaging our curls.
5. When detangling, always brush (Denman Brush) or comb from the tips up. So start detangling your tips first then, work your way up.
If you are trying to go natural, there are a few things that you can do.
1. BC (Big Chop), just cut the mess of a relaxer off. It is difficult and frustrating dealing with 2 textures. This is something that I highly recommend.
2. Since most people are not bold or risky enough to do the BC, you can continue to transition your hair, with the help of a professional. The reality of it is , this can take over a year of transitioning and can be expensive compared to the BC, that takes a few months and $20-$25 max for a haircut.
Being natural is all about Patience and Self Acceptance!
All I can say is wow! I remember I was into my transition that took a year and now after being natural for some time...I can truly say now that I appreciate my hair. I remember while growing off my perm, I didn't like the permed ends and to me, they looked like rats had been sucking on them, and my natural hair was big, wavy and bushy and looked so much healthier. I tried to hold on to my length for as long as I could, but once my friend cut off the permed ends, it seemed like it took it no time for it to grow back. As far as making your hair look "acceptable", I remember a particular incident. I was going in for a job interview and I was wondering should I straighten my hair. My mom said yes, and once I get the job, THEN rock my hair in its natural state. One of my friends who just happen to have the biggest fro ever told me to just go how I am and if they don't like me then oh well, hair shouldn't matter in an interview and people shouldn't be so shallow when it comes to that. Well needless to say...my boss remembers the day that I came in and remembered my hair and my whole outfit all the way down to my shoes that I wore! I must say now looking back in retrospect, I'm glad that I rocked my natural. She said that she loved my hair, but it wasn't just about that. She said it was my attitude and my sassiness that got me the job. What I'm trying to say is, when you do rock your hair, you have to be confident and let your light shine. People are very intuitive and can pick up on your self-consciousness and will know when you don't feel good about yourself. I know all the time, people say they aren't their hair, but hair is one of the first things that you see when you look at someone. I say when rocking your natural, own it and be all about it, don't let anyone tell you that you're not beautiful!
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